No Money To Leave Alcoholic Addicted Husband

JC: The following story was sent to me in an email. I have since provided our Solutions For Alcoholic Relationships video series to her at no cost, something we periodically do here because it’s really important to us that people who have no money get the help they desperately need.  I also asked Helena if it would be okay to publish her email to our site.

Please feel free to comment below the article offering ideas, encouragement and empathy. 

Submitted by: Helena

road-to-recoveryThank You so much for your message. I really do appreciate your Help in this matter. But the reality of my situation is I have no money. I really mean zero money. My Alcoholic Husband controls every penny. I don’t even have access to his bank account or to his credit cards. I am 60 Years old with no way out of this except to try to find free programs online to help me to learn to cope. His Drinking is literally got me with one foot in the grave. I am tired of this. We had a child late in life. I was 45 years old, so we have a 15-year-old daughter who is more mature than we are about this. It is correct when you say that alcoholics use fear, anxiety, arguing, blaming and so on… That is all true.

I have the responsibility of my 15-year-old. We have no money to leave this situation. My alcoholic husband is a controlling High-Performance Alcoholic. I have been in this mess for almost 20 years; MaKayla (my daughter) has been subjected to alcoholism  her whole life.

I have never drank or done drugs. I do not smoke (although he does). I am a Christian and He is Not at all. I am unable to go to church but I do use the online ministry on Youtube as my praise and worship.

Consider Reading: Christian Wife Married To Abusive Alcoholic

trust-god-through-changeI Find that even when I just walk away from him, he follows me to my bedroom. I have locked the door but that does not work. I fear being in my bedroom with him because the space is to confined. So when he comes in my room I leave it right away. So then I have to sit at the table and allow him to verbally abuse me. I use to argue with him and try to reason with him but that never helped at all. Only made it worse. I am just to old now to allow him to push me into an argument.

Consider Reading: Avoiding An Alcoholic

I need to be here for my daughter. I home-school her because we really very seldom leave our house because my husband is always drunk. He is only “normal” first thing in the morning when he has his 2 cups of coffee then he is well on his way to drinking.

His friends at work just love him and have no idea who he really is. To them he is Mr. Nice Guy or the Funniest Guy on this earth. But at home it is a totally different story. Then only time MaKayla and I get any peace is when he is at work. So we look forward to that. We even have gone as far as to be awake when he is sleeping, and sleep when he is awake. She stays in her room and I stay in mine.

vibrant-life-growing-in-cold-hard-placesWe live in a huge house that never gets lived in accept for the cats. They seem to love the house. This has never been a home, it’s more like a huge really nice storage unit for very nice things. So anyway, the moral of this story is I appreciate your Labor of Love and Support at Alcoholic’s Friend, but I honestly can not afford it. He controls every penny coming in and every penny going out. I am sure that I will find free help online. Blessings to you. Thank You for your kindness. I am sure that Our Father in Heaven will Bless your Work in a Wonderful Way and many people will come out of their addictive and abusive marriages or relationships Victoriously. In Jesus Holy Name I Pray. Amen.

Once again Thank You so Much. God Bless. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to you and your Loved Ones.

 Please feel free to comment below!


2 comments to No Money To Leave Alcohol Addicted Husband

  • Holly

    Dear Helena,
    My heart goes out to you. Do you have a car? I wonder if you might be able to drive to a Women’s safe house with your daughter to get support for leaving the agonizing situation you are in. I believe they support women who are mentally abused-not just physically abused. You deserve to find joy again in life and your daughter deserves to live without a drunk father around so she can learn healthy boundaries. Sending you blessings and love.
    Holly

  • Brigitte

    Maybe you could get a part time job and go talk to a divorce Attorney. They usually will give a free consultation for an hour. They can tell you your rights in the State you were married in and or live in. The states are either community property or non community property states the lawyer can explain that. You can also ask for spousal support since you have always stayed home to take care of your child. If you have any documentation or case numbers from having to call the police on your drunk husband that also can be used as extra proof that he is abusive to you and your daughter to support your case. If you can get copies of his bank names and account numbers etc in case he tries to hide money or move money in hidden locations because his income is also community property in those community property states. Make copies of any Deeds, financial documents etc and take them to an Attorney. You still have a lot of good years ahead of you and 60 yrs old is the new 50! 🙂 and you deserve happiness don’t stay in that abusive situation. Leave while you can. God Bless You! 🙂

Leave a Reply