JC: Pat, thanks for sending in your story. When it comes to medical issues, I think we all need love and support, especially from our spouses. I have a few communication guidelines I like to use when I am involved in communicating with someone I love:
1. Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean
2. Say things only once when conversing, more than that means you are trying to control the situation.
3. Avoid having serious conversations when the alcoholic is either drunk or hungover.
4. Don’t have serious conversations late at night.
You may get a few ideas from this article: How to Communicate With An Alcoholic
Guest Post From: Pat
Hi everyone. My husband is a functioning alcoholic. He has now retired from our trucking business. He had a heart attack about 3 years ago and then had to have his eye removed due to skin cancer that went under his eye socket. What has amazed me is how the medical personnel will not stand up straight and tell him the truth about his lifestyle choices.
After the heart attack several mentioned his smoking and told him he needed to quit. Never really explained to him the extent of the damage he is causing. When we would go in to have a check up they would do blood tests and his c-reative protein would be sky high. They just would skip right over it. I asked them if this was not something to be concerned about and they would just say nothing. To me this is a bad sign of inflammation that is caused by his smoking. Not one doctor would come out and say anything about it to him. They would say something to me when he was out of the room. Then I would tell him and he would ask me why the doctor didn’t say anything and then he would fight with me saying what a bitch I am. I thought that he needed to see the evidence of his habit then maybe he would see in black and white the proof.
Now he is having trouble controlling his blood pressure and other health issues. It used to stay fine by itself after the surgery. Now he has been through several medications and he has had trouble with all of them. Today I said something about being concerned that he is going into congestive heart failure because of his coughing. He said I am not being supportive and am such a terrible person. I looked up the symptoms and they fit pretty good. It even mentions alcohol abuse as a contributing factor.
Now for my questions. Am I being cruel in telling him the truth or should I just shut up and let him go on in his ignorant is bliss state? I don’t know if telling him would change anything as he has drank his whole life and probably will not be able to stop. He has tried to quit smoking several times and has not been able to do it so far. His VA Dr has prescribed a water pill for him which seems to indicate that he knows he is in congestive heart failure so why won’t he tell him?
Video About Some Health Issues An Alcoholic May Face: