Please feel free to comment below the article. This subject of being nice to someone when the aren’t is a good one to discuss. How do you be nice to an alcoholic when they don’t treat us with kindness most of the time?
Guest Post By: Debbie
I don’t know how to put this where you can truly understand where I’m coming from with few words. I really appreciate your knowledge and wisdom… However, and maybe I’m all wrong, but.. why is it the alcoholic is somehow deserving of the special treatment and added care and concern by us? And we aren’t expected to do anything, besides all the extra work involved dealing with them. Seems they get excused and justified for what they choose to do (drink), and still deserve to be treated in ways they never even attempt with us? I am 48, now with congestive heart failure, and other issues, directly linked to the stress caused by my alcoholic husband. So, I get to pay in every way, and now with my life. I don’t have options, and wonder why I should bother trying to fight.
JC: Thanks for your question. I am sorry to hear that you are ill. I do hope you find comfort during this difficult time in life. Every situation is different Debbie. Why should we be nice to a substance abuser? It seems that if we can live by the rule of doing to others as we would have them treat us that this is the path in life where we are able to live without regrets and feelings of guilt. We teach people how to live with an active alcoholic as well as how to not be a doormat by accepting unacceptable behavior. If changing ones attitude within a situation where alcoholism is present isn’t working, then the alternative is to change our address. You know, “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” The thing about life is that “we” are responsible for our own choices. If we choose to stay with an active alcoholic, as my mother used to say, “we’ve made our bed, now we have to lie in it.” Under no circumstances should relentless abuse be allowed to continue.
No matter what we are going though in life, it’s all about our attitude. As I’ve said so many times before; “have a nice day unless you’ve made other plans. ” We can choose to be happy even if the alcoholic is drinking or not.