A never ending battle rages when we keep losing control of our temper. This is normal when dealing with an alcoholic. Unless you’ve been to support group meetings designed to help people cope with alcoholism, it’s a losing battle.
There is hope for you though even in the midst of all of your despair. I too used to get really angry with the person in my life who would not quit drinking. Even after I began to learn how to control my temper, when interacting with this family member, I still would get set off into a fit of rage occasionally.
Here are a few tips:
Just realize that there are millions of people in this world trying to cope with people who are abusing alcohol. You may feel like you’re the only one in the world battling these emotions of anger, but you are not.
Here’s the main problem, it is called obsession!
You are going to have to start learning how to stop the obsessive thinking that causes you to lose your temper. When we get so focused on an alcoholic’s behavior that we can’t stop thinking about what they are doing, then we are in serious trouble.
Our anger slowly begins to heat up very much like a pot of boiling water. We must learn how to turn the thing off before it has a chance to overheat. If we can start doing this we will start being kind to the alcoholic, rather than ripping them to shreds all of the time.
The way we do that is by changing “our” behaviors because the alcoholic is not going to change theirs.
“How am I going to stop obsessing over an alcoholic?”
You are going to need more help than this small article will give you. I highly suggest that you get involved with support group meetings for people dealing with alcoholics. It is there that you will really begin to learn how to stop losing your temper with your spouse, child, friend, boss or co-worker who is the problem drinker.
Try these suggestions:
Here’s the key to your freedom, it’s a matter of changing your focus. Find things to do that you enjoy rather that allowing the behavior of another person to consume your thoughts.
Please, start keeping a journal of the events of your day, especially the times when you have been interacting with the problem drinker in your life. By doing this, you will begin to recognize what the triggers are that are causing you to get angry.
Before you let anything come out of your mouth, directed toward them, make sure that it is kind, necessary to say and the truth.
Force yourself to change your behaviors by not driving by places to see what they are up to. Consider not calling them to check up on them. If they call you, don’t analyze them to try and figure out if they’ve been drinking or not.
When you mess up and lose your temper, just start over. If you must start over ten times in one day, then that’s OK; “just do it!” It’s good to live by the rule of “progress not perfection.”
There are a ton of things that you can learn that will help you stop losing your temper with an alcoholic.
Just do this right now, START OVER! Forgive yourself for having unacceptable behavior toward the alcoholic in your life. This is the first step toward getting free from all of the emotional turmoil that you have been going through.
Find some friends who understand what you are going through by attending a few meetings designed to help people cope with alcoholism. Trust me, that’s where you will find the answers that you are searching for.
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