The longer we live with someone abusing alcohol, we become totally frustrated with their behaviors. Living with an alcoholic is too much for us and we need help. We reach the point where we don’t want to divorce an addicted spouse, but at the same time our frustrations cause us to want to just hit them. Realizing that neither of these options will work, we end up emotionally exhausted trying everything we can think of consciously or unconsciously.
I know well what it is like to want to leave someone and at the same time you love them so much that you cannot. I know what it’s like to have plans canceled, families being destroyed and the fear that accompanies late nights when the alcoholic is out on the town. I am totally aware of the obsession of worrying about an alcoholic.
Through my experiences and by attending support group meetings, I have learned how to overcome focusing on the alcoholic all of the time.
I can help, just continue reading, please.
I can give you solid information that will be very beneficial to you. You will find on this website hundreds of articles with great tips. If you can just get one thing to help you get through the day, everyday, you will win this troublesome battle.
So, make sure that you are not in huge hurry to go to another site because I have over forty eight years of experience in dealing with the problem of alcoholism in family members, friends, co-workers and even strangers.
If your frustrated with an alcoholic, follow these steps:
1) Get to an Al-anon group or other support group meeting right away. Don’t delay in finding local help in your community for the situation that you are dealing with. Remember this one thing, without help alcoholism is just too much for us to deal with on our own. We become lonely and frustrated without even knowing it. This is the honest to goodness truth. If you were not really frustrated with the situation, you would not be reading this right now.
Alcoholics continually leave us emotionally abandoned.
2) Stop confronting them when they are lying. A lying alcoholic will not tell the truth no matter how hard you try to get them to. They will stand right in front of you, drunk -as-a-skunk and deny having a drink.
3) Refuse to argue with someone who’s been drinking alcohol. Remember that it takes two to argue and if you choose not to, then I guarantee you that you will be less frustrated with the situation.
4) Get your focus off of what they are doing all the time and enjoy life. They have a way of consuming our thoughts if we let them. SO, DON’T LET THEM!
Now, you may be thinking that I don’t understand your situation because the things I’ve suggested seem ridiculous. Oh really? Well, then tell me what it is that you have been doing that works. I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below.
The truth of the matter is that the things that you’ve been doing are not working. If they were you wouldn’t be reading this article about being totally frustrated with the problem drinker in your life.
If you don’t do any of the suggestions, please just get to a support group meeting soon.
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My husband has been an alcoholic for over 4 years. We have 3 kids, ages 9-12 that hes been verbally abusive to in the past as well as to me, and yells at me in front of them still. Yet the kids adore him. They also respect me less because of how he treats me. He has been to AA at my insistance, but doesn’t like it because some people come drunk. (Very judgemental). I constantly find bottles even though he insists he stopped each time. I’m so sick of the lies. I have been to Al-anon and know I need to go back. I thought we are supposed to tell them when we know they are drinking, and when we find their “stash”. Any suggestions?
The things you write make sense. I have been so frustrated with all of the lies that my alcoholic husband tells. He is in total denial about his drinking problem. I think that frustrates me the most. He cannot see how I am slowly drifting away because he leaves me emotional starved for intimacy and friendship.
I read in one of your articles about how alcoholics are in love with the bottle more than they are with us. That really hit home with me. There are so many things I am unsure of about my marriage.