Placing Your Face Where Your Butt Belongs


The rooms spinning and the toilet is calling your name. Yes, your drunk and isn’t this the wonderful life? Yeah, life is so great that in just moments your face is going to be planted right where your butt belongs. The cool chill of the seat will son be your comforting friend.

People who drink to get drunk are obviously deceived at what real living is all about. That’s not living my friend when we are hugging the porcelain stool. It’s a cover-up of a deeply rooted emotional problem that you have inside.

Perhaps, your mother’s to blame or everyone else in the world is out to get you. Think what you may, but there really is no excuse for the inexcusable behavior of puking in the toilet because you have had too much to drink.

After the evening is over, we hope that no one will know we got sick as we are passed out before the great white thrown. The only problem is that there are six of us all sharing the hotel room that only has one bathroom.

It’s kinda hard to mask the sights and sounds of a freight train when it is less than fifteen feet away. So, the guilt and shame of our overnight stay in the smallest room in the hotel causes us to visit the bar first thing in the morning.

Hopefully before our party animal friends wake up we can get enough alcohol in our system to stabilize our paranoia. A bloody Mary will certainly give us the courage to face the embarrassing stories that our so-called friends will tell about us when they wake up.

Oh my God, you realize that you puked on your shirt and you smell like three day old cooked broccoli that was left unrefrigerated. There also is a strange odor of urine that you keep smelling as you realize you pissed in your pants too. Horror grips you as you realize that you have no other clothes. Despite the thirty degree weather outside, you jump in the pool and then tell your friends later on that you wanted to sober-up quickly.

The insanity of the person who drinks to get drunk is beyond comprehension. The life of a true alcoholic is baffling. T he crazy thoughts that occur during times of so-called fun that we all laugh about are the same patterns that cause them to plunge deep into depression when they are alone. Alcohol causes irrational thinking in the minds of problem drinkers on a daily basis.

So, if you have been placing your face in exactly the same spot that your butt belongs, you may want to consider finding help for your problem. One call to an organization such as Alcoholic’s Anonymous could save your life.


1 comment to Placing Your Face Where Your Butt Belongs

  • Amy

    One thing about my alcoholic that has always surprised me is he NEVER vomits..I have known him to drink a half gallon of Brandy and not so much as gag the next day..I actaully is quit upsetting ..I would just LOVE for him to feel like complete and utter crap the next day..he sleeps alot but thats about it..if we are LUCKY he is passed out by 5 seeing he starts drinking around 8 in the morning and will sleep on an average of 14 hours..what a life!!!

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