Comments on: Loving The Alcoholic By Letting Go-How Can This Be Love?

By: Jane

Jane — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 01:08:01 +0000

I am currently struggling with this situation with my boyfriend of 6 years. It is so difficult to see and be around, especially since my mother was an alcoholic. I have done my years in therapy, but now I see I need to break the cycle again. I will turn this over to his God and love him through this without me trying to fix him. To think that this drug that has ruined so many lives, is still so very acceptable in society.

By: Denise

Denise — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 15:46:32 +0000

I wish I could let go but, doing so I would feel very responsible for whatever happens next to my boyfriend. It would feel as though I have given up on him. He would also use this to bring himself down even lower, I think…and this is something I cannot except. I’m soo tired of it all. IT’s only been 3 years in the relationship and I read that some spouses do it for 20 years or more! OMG!
My brain understands the whole idea of it being a disease, but my heart cannot stop hurting.

By: Katie

Katie — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 02:18:57 +0000

I am in totally agreement with you Shelly. My husband does the same thing to me…I’ve been married 10 years, and have 3 little boys. I alot of the times just think he’s selfish…and I think he chooses the devil over serving the Lord every day. Everyone has a choice to go home to their family, or have that first selfish drink at the shop after work. But the thing that my husband says to me, is that I have an addiction with my phone…or something that he can get me back with. The thing is…is that my talking on the phone doesn’t have a huge effect on my family, like his drinking. Everything in moderation…he just likes to come back with things that make him feel better about himself. But yes…I have the same question about the disease…disease my butt. It’s just an excuse. Sorry…I’m just venting.

By: Shelly

Shelly — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:35:29 +0000

This article was so enlightning, however, I find myself in an almost opposite situation. I have a very difficult time loving (I love my husband I guess the word would be liking) my husband because of the drinking. I have been in this relationship for over 20 years, we have children together, and yet I find it harder and harder every day to let go and to love him unconditionally. The horrible and hurtful things that he says about me or the names he calls me is so hard to hear and to ignore. These are things that are being said by the one that you love, if they love you, how can they say such things to you and not mean them. I find myself actually questioning those things he says and wonder if they really are true or not. I get so angry and am so hurt that it takes a while for me to get over the episode. In my head I know that I myself need help as much as my husband does, but I just cannot seem to get my confidence up to get help. I love my husband with all my heart but my heart is being broken and I don’t know how to stop my way of thinking and get help. I guess what it comes down to is that I can’t help but to think that if he loved us (the kids and I) enough he would stop drinking for us. He chooses alcohol over us everyday and that hurts.

In this article it compares alcoholism with a disease like cancer. Where I have a problem with understanding this is that someone that has cancer would do anything to not have it, and sometimes there is nothing that can be done for them to be cured. Alcoholics have a choice and can be cured, maybe not cured but can get better, all by choosing to not drink anymore. I just haven’t made that connection yet in my mind of it being a disease like other diseases; it’s a very different disease indeed.

By: admin

admin — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 02:16:01 +0000

Cris, I sent you an email.

By: cris campbell

cris campbell — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 22:53:59 +0000

Dear Sirs;

I work for Oklahoma State University Prevention Programs, which focuses on preventing underage drinking and assisting to provide a continuum of care (treatment) in my region. I ran onto this article in research and wonder if I can have permission to reprint it in my area?