I never understood the warning signs of being in an abusive relationship. Being use to the alcoholic treating me poorly was a way of life. I’ll never forget the day when a friend who was a professional family counselor, told me that I was in a horribly bad relationship and that I was being abused mentally, spiritually and physically. His honesty led me to stop sharing with him from my heart ever again. I was in such denial that I couldn’t think of the alcoholic that I loved so much as being an abusive person. I was so far off in fantasy land that it would take three other people and God speaking before I would listen and get help.
I’d never taken the time to understand what it meant to be in an abusive relationship. What was he referring to I wondered? It wasn’t until I got my hands on some cassette tapes from Joyce Meyer Ministries that I began to understand that the alcoholic was treating me horribly. The series was called Beauty For Ashes.
It had become a way of life for me to endure being called awful names, yelled at and sometimes even physically hit. As I studied the tapes intensely, I realized that no one should be treating me this way. As I listened to every teaching, I began to see all of the warning signs that I was in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic that I dearly loved. God was opening my eyes and the blinders of denial were being stripped away from my sight. I began to see the relationship for what it really was, abusive.
Is someone calling you every name in the book whenever they feel like it? Do you get ridiculed for everything that you do? Does it seem as though one moment the alcoholic in your life loves you and then without notice you are hated with every ounce of energy they have within them? Have you been pushed, spit on, grabbed forcefully or hit by the alcoholic in your life? These are all warning signs for you to open up your eyes to.
What is happening to you is not OK.
Yes, some of these things are just normal behaviors that we must live with when we are involved in potentially bad relationships with active drinkers, but only if they are in moderation.
At this point in the article, you really need to just pause and think about how you are being treated by the alcoholic. If you understand that you are being treated horribly bad then you are probably in a very abusive relationship.
Here’s what I want you to do. Get the phone book and look for support groups in your area that are designed to help family and friends of Alcoholics. Alanon is a great place to start getting help for the situation that you are involved in. Being treated horribly bad by an alcoholic is no light matter. No one deserves to be some ones punching bag, not emotionally, spiritually or physically. Take care of yourself and seek out help. Do this now!
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