Yes, it is possible to love an alcoholic with an undying love, unconditionally. To accept a problem drinker’s behavior is not what this article is about. Learning to take care of ourselves is the beginning of being able to express compassion toward the person suffering from the disease of alcoholism. Having compassion and loving someone who drinks all the time does not mean that we must accept unacceptable behavior from an alcoholic. What it does mean is that we must learn how to live life differently than we have been.
To have unconditional love for an addict means that we accept them as they are but we do not allow them to treat us or our family with disrespect. The only way to accept them just as they are is by realizing that they are suffering from a horrible disease called alcoholism. You wouldn’t hate a friend who had cancer would you, or some other type of terminal illness? Of course you wouldn’t, you would care for them and express great amounts of unconditional love toward them.
So, then why do we have such a tendency to not like the alcoholic in our lives? If you can come to grips with the fact that alcoholism is a disease, then and only then will you be able to express unconditional love to the person who drinks too much in your life. Understand this point… they do not want to be the way that they are. They struggle with the horrible addiction day in and day out. Even though they deny having a problem, deep down inside they know that they are drinking too much.
It’s going to take a lot of work on your part to re-spark the great love that you once had, but it can be done. If you would just take a moment right now to look in the phone book for help or even on the Internet, by doing a search using your city location, you could find an Al-anon meeting near you. There are millions of testimonials about the Al-anon program spread throughout the world.
The first step to loving an alcoholic unconditionally is getting involved in support group meetings with people who understand what it is that you are going through.
You are going to need to learn how to love yourself again. That thought sounds strange doesn’t it? There is great truth in that statement though because living with an alcoholic wears us down. They are constantly belittling us and making us feel worthless. Once we discover our value again, then we can begin to love the alcoholic in our life without conditions.
You are suffering from many things that have affected you in relation to living with active alcoholism. In order to love the alcoholic in a manner that is expressed unconditionally, you are going to need to learn how to stop arguing, how to protect your emotions and how to let go of the alcoholic and start living your own life. This doesn’t mean that you leave them or live without them. It just means that you can begin to live a wonderful life even though their behavior is constantly awful. You don’t have to be affected by everything that they do and it is possible to focus on other things than their drinking problem.
Now, get to work and find help in your area. Pick up the phone and dial that number. I promise you that you are not alone. Many people are dealing with the same pain that you are. They too are feeling lonely and frustrated. Those folks can also teach you how to love yourself again and how to love the alcoholic in your life unconditionally.