Comments on: Setting Boundaries With Alcoholics Who Display Unacceptable Behavior http://alcoholicsfriend.com/2009/09/setting-boundaries-with-alcoholics-who-display-unacceptable-behavior/ Help for people affected by alcoholics Fri, 18 May 2012 20:50:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: kaz http://alcoholicsfriend.com/2009/09/setting-boundaries-with-alcoholics-who-display-unacceptable-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-22144 kaz Wed, 04 Jan 2012 22:22:05 +0000 http://alcoholicsfriend.com/?p=63#comment-22144 i have never had boundaries with my boyfriend. he has treated me so bad now for nine years to the extent of saying sexual stuff about my daughter and other woman. i know he doesnt respect me anymore as i have let him get away with so much. he always says that he didnt mean what he said as he was drunk and not to listen to it, but over and over for nine years is going too far now, he must have meant all he has said and i feel devastated over the pain and wasted years. my mind has been so affected by the abuse i feel totally damaged. i never knew about boundaries there were none in my family. i am 49 and feel awful in myself, lost all confidence and no esteem left, he has destroyed me. why do i still want his love? i have never had boundaries with my boyfriend. he has treated me so bad now for nine years to the extent of saying sexual stuff about my daughter and other woman. i know he doesnt respect me anymore as i have let him get away with so much. he always says that he didnt mean what he said as he was drunk and not to listen to it, but over and over for nine years is going too far now, he must have meant all he has said and i feel devastated over the pain and wasted years. my mind has been so affected by the abuse i feel totally damaged. i never knew about boundaries there were none in my family. i am 49 and feel awful in myself, lost all confidence and no esteem left, he has destroyed me. why do i still want his love?

]]> By: CAROLYN http://alcoholicsfriend.com/2009/09/setting-boundaries-with-alcoholics-who-display-unacceptable-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-16349 CAROLYN Mon, 10 Oct 2011 19:56:09 +0000 http://alcoholicsfriend.com/?p=63#comment-16349 THE MAN I LOVE (I'M 70, HE IS OLDER AND WILL NEVER CHANGE). ALTHOUGH HIS SON DATED MY DAUGHTER IN HIGH SCHOOL. I KNEW HIS WIFE BUT NEVER HIM. HIS WIFE DIED LAST YEAR. WE HAVE A HISTORY HAVING LIVED IN THE SAME TOWN FOR MANY YRS. I HAVE JUST MOVED BACK IN JUNE AFTER BEING AWAY ABOUT 15 YRS. HAVE BEEN SEEING HIM ABOUT 5 MO. HE HAS CONTINUED TO BE PARANOID ABOUT MY LIFE WHEN I WAS AWAY. I WAS MARRIED UNHAPPILY FOR 14 YRS. FINALLY DIVORCED. HIM; HE DRINKS BEER STARTING AROUND 4:00 PM, CONTINUING UNTIL BED TIME POSSIBLY 11:00PM ( I'M NOT SURE HOW MANY BUT IN 4 HRS. AT THE CLUB PROBABLY 7+ HE PROMISED TO CUT BACK, BUT HASN'T ON HIS OWN. A DAY OR 2 A WEEK HE MAY WAIT UNTIL 6-7:00PM DRINKING 2BEERS WITH SUPPER. THEN CONTINUING. IF I'M WITH HIM HE DRINKS SLOWER, MAYBE 2 AN HOUR. HE SAYS IF I WERE WITH HIM MORE HE WOULDN'T DRINK AS MUCH. IF I AM WITH HIM HE STAYS UP DRINKING BETWEEN 6-8 POSSIBLY +. I CARE ABOUT HIM BUT HIS MOOD SWINGS ARE HURTFUL! WHAT RE YOUR SUGGESTIONS? I HOPE YOU CAN HELP....EVEN IF YOU SAY TO FORGET HIM. AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE TO FIND SOMEONE, KIND AND THAT LOVES ME IS A MIRACLE. I HAD MANY INTERESTED IN ME, AS I AM TOLD I DON'T LOOK MY AGE. I HAVE HAD NOTHING IN COMMON WITH THEM AND DIDN'T SEE THEM OVER 2 TIMES FOR DINNER. THE MAN I LOVE (I’M 70, HE IS OLDER AND WILL NEVER CHANGE). ALTHOUGH HIS SON DATED MY DAUGHTER IN HIGH SCHOOL. I KNEW HIS WIFE BUT NEVER HIM. HIS WIFE DIED LAST YEAR. WE HAVE A HISTORY HAVING LIVED IN THE SAME TOWN FOR MANY YRS. I HAVE JUST MOVED BACK IN JUNE AFTER BEING AWAY ABOUT 15 YRS. HAVE BEEN SEEING HIM ABOUT 5 MO. HE HAS CONTINUED TO BE PARANOID ABOUT MY LIFE WHEN I WAS AWAY. I WAS MARRIED UNHAPPILY FOR 14 YRS. FINALLY DIVORCED.

HIM; HE DRINKS BEER STARTING AROUND 4:00 PM, CONTINUING UNTIL BED TIME POSSIBLY 11:00PM ( I’M NOT SURE HOW MANY BUT IN 4 HRS. AT THE CLUB PROBABLY 7+ HE PROMISED TO CUT BACK, BUT HASN’T ON HIS OWN. A DAY OR 2 A WEEK HE MAY WAIT UNTIL 6-7:00PM DRINKING 2BEERS WITH SUPPER. THEN CONTINUING. IF I’M WITH HIM HE DRINKS SLOWER, MAYBE 2 AN HOUR. HE SAYS IF I WERE WITH HIM MORE HE WOULDN’T
DRINK AS MUCH. IF I AM WITH HIM HE STAYS UP DRINKING BETWEEN 6-8 POSSIBLY +. I CARE ABOUT HIM BUT HIS MOOD SWINGS ARE HURTFUL!

WHAT RE YOUR SUGGESTIONS?

I HOPE YOU CAN HELP….EVEN IF YOU SAY TO FORGET HIM. AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE TO FIND SOMEONE, KIND AND THAT LOVES ME IS A MIRACLE. I HAD MANY INTERESTED IN ME, AS I AM TOLD I DON’T LOOK MY AGE. I HAVE HAD NOTHING IN COMMON WITH THEM AND DIDN’T SEE THEM OVER 2 TIMES FOR DINNER.

]]> By: Jim http://alcoholicsfriend.com/2009/09/setting-boundaries-with-alcoholics-who-display-unacceptable-behavior/comment-page-1/#comment-592 Jim Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:06:24 +0000 http://alcoholicsfriend.com/?p=63#comment-592 I've been accepting unacceptable behavior for a long time. It's like a way of life for me to get stepped on by the alcoholic. She actually treats the dog better than me. I’ve been accepting unacceptable behavior for a long time. It’s like a way of life for me to get stepped on by the alcoholic. She actually treats the dog better than me.

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