Family members spend as much time obsessing over the behavior of an alcoholic as they do thinking about where they will get the next drink. IF you get the awareness on this point you will be on the road to changing your behaviors. Let’s try doing a short survey to see if you have an obsession problem.
1) Do you ever drive around looking for the alcoholic or their vehicle?
2) When they come home do you begin to analyze them wondering if they have been drinking?
3) When you are near them do you try to smell if they have the fragrance of alcohol on them?
4) When they tell you they are working late do you obsess over whether they are lying or not?
5) Do you go through their things to see if they are hiding the booze somewhere?
6) Is there a level of constant anxiety and worry that they will be drunk during the day?
These are just a few of the things that will help you gauge whether or not you are obsessing over the alcoholic in your life. It’s a habit that can be broken. Breaking the habit will require changing your way of thinking.
I have to tell you the funniest story.
When my wife was at the height of her addiction and always lying to get to the next party or place where she could have a drink, I did the funniest thing. She drove a small red two door Ford Mustang convertible. One day as I was driving down a six lane highway in the city we lived in near Dallas Texas, I saw a small red convertible mustang. The driver was going in the opposite direction and she looked like my wife. But wait, “my wife is supposed to be at work across on the other side of town.” I quickly did a U-turn and suddenly burst out laughing. I was driving the little red Mustang.
The obsessions that we are addicted to, when our spouses or children are drinking alcohol daily, are relentless. From the time we awaken we begin to obsess over them til we go to sleep at night. Sometimes we don’t sleep at all because we are pacing the floor because they are out at a party all night.
Here are a few steps for breaking the habit of obsessing over an alcoholic.
1) Learn how to talk a lot on the phone to friends. Preferably friends that you have made in the group meetings that you have been attending to help you get over the obsession with the alcoholic in your life.
2) Start doing thing that you enjoy. Go to the movies, take long walks on the beach or buy tickets to the opera or something. Just get busy enjoying life and stop worrying about what the alcoholic/addict is doing all of the time.
3) Make a decision to stop double taking looks when you see a car that your child or alcoholic spouse usually drives.
4) Don’t look at them when they walk in the door to see if they are drunk or not.
5) Read books when the come home to help you keep your attention on something other than them.
6) Let them go to live their life and then you start living yours.
7) Just go to sleep when they have not come home late at night. There’s nothing you can do about it anyway.
The process of breaking the habit of obsessing over another’s behavior is going to take some work, besides they say that it takes twenty one days to break old habits. This obsession is something that you did not suddenly fall into and it’s going to take work to get out of doing it continually. Just take it one day at a time and soon you will notice that you have not been obsessing about what the alcoholic in your life is doing all the time.
Related posts:
- When an Alcoholic Doesn’t Come Home An alcoholic, when they are drinking, doesn’t care about...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.