Don’t let their irresponsible actions stop you from your goals in life. Broken dreams, trampled plans, missed appointments or engagements are a way of life for the alcoholic. It’s so important to get the focus off of how the alcoholic in our life is acting. They will always be irresponsible; learn to accept this fact.
Here’s how it works. When we have expectations, then we are setting ourselves up for experiencing resentment. If we don’t have expectations from the alcoholic in our lives, then they cannot disappoint us. Having this type of an attitude will protect us from experiencing a flood of negative emotions and give to us serenity and peace in our lives.
We will be protected against experiencing feelings of disappointment, anger, depression, shame and the need to ask for forgiveness. Why you ask? Well, when we don’t have expectations of another person to do something, then there’s no way they can disappoint us. There will be no reason to confront them or to get into an argument over the situation.
The more often we can avoid having a confrontation, the greater the serenity becomes in our lives.
Always be ready with a backup plan when there is a person in your life who is actively drinking alcohol. If they do not follow through with their commitment or end of the bargain, look somewhere else to have the void filled.
The main thing is to get your focus off of the alcoholic and all of the things that they are not doing right from your point of view.
I’ll never forget how I had checked with my wife two months in advance to see if she would be able to attend a Christmas special that I wanted to purchase tickets for. She assured me that she would be able to attend, so I purchased one for each of us. For the next few weeks, I periodically reminded her of our plans. When it came time to go at 6pm, she was not anywhere to be found. Should I stay at home and be mad or just go without her, I wondered? One phone call to a friend and I had someone who wanted to join my plans. The two of us had a great evening watching the Christmas special.
That night my wife never came home. The next day when I saw her, I did not say a word to her about missing the event. Actually, I made it a point to call my friend and talk about how much I enjoyed the event that we had attended together.
We must always be prepared to live our lives to the full, even when our alcoholic spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or child exhibits irresponsible actions by breaking engagements. There were so many times the alcoholic in my life missed appointments that we scheduled.
Broken plans are a way of life for them. The sooner that we accept this and make a decision to enjoy our lives with or without them the better off we will be.
If you really want to learn how to love an alcoholic, then develop your character to accept them as they are and live your own life.
It’s OK to live your life to the full even when an alcoholic continually fails to meet their obligations. Irresponsible actions, broken dreams, trampled plans, and canceled engagements are all a part of the active drinker’s lifestyle.
Trust me, there are plenty of people that you can connect with as friends who can join you when the alcoholic ditches you so that they can go out drinking with their friends. We must have a phone book full of friends that we can call on short notice who will be willing to join us when there are broken engagements.
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